Business can be a ruse for avoiding feelings.
Business can be a unconscious ruse for avoiding feelings. Stephanie Dowrick wrote in Sunday Life on 13 December, 2015 that business has a dark side. It does. How often do you hear people say ‘I am so busy’ with a certain pride. It is almost as if they are saying ‘I am so important’; that I’m indispensable. Even if you are busy, and particularly so if it is at a time of your life when there is an awful lot to be fitted in, you can still find time to reflect on whether you are making the best and most sensible use of your time. Asking yourself whether what you are doing is really necessary: pleasing others instead of yourself, or dwelling on whether you are avoiding something, or that you are in a way addicted to the adrenalin of being on edge all the time as it is so compelling. There is something deeply alluring about being incredibly busy as you rush from one thing to the next and using it as a means of blocking out everything else.
Little time for relaxation
We know that there are times in everyone’s life when there is little time for relaxation. It is inevitable that you will be busy with vital aspects of life: making a living, taking care of your family, solving problems, studying, giving to others in the community, and living fully and meaningfully. When you are enjoying what you do and get satisfaction from it and you are in the ‘flow’ it is often not termed busy but being occupied or even absorbed. However there are times when the state of being busy is milked: given as an excuse or a reason for avoiding something; perhaps even as a suggestion of being special.
Filling a space.
It is also important to ask yourself whether you are filling a space so that you don’t have to feel too deeply. If you are busy you don’t have time to think or space to allow feelings to be dwelt on. All that discomfort can be avoided. This would not necessarily be conscious. It might just seem like anything else is impossible to contemplate or that there is no other way to manage all that has to be done; that there is no option but to live life in contemporary society as though every minute has to be busily filled with activity.
Doing something all the time.
It is hard to hear that you can make time to just be and not feel you have to be doing all the time. Being meaning noticing that you are fully alive and have time to notice what is happening in and around you. Giving yourself permission to pause and take note of your bodily sensations and indulge in the benefit of your senses being alive to take in what is happening and to rest your thinking part of your brain.